


Life and Love: Theia Mania

by makkachincrossing



Series: L Words [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Backstory, Dancing, Drunkenness, Dry Humping, Falling In Love, Frottage, M/M, Making Out, POV First Person, Pole Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 07:08:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8835112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makkachincrossing/pseuds/makkachincrossing
Summary: “Be my coach, Viktor!!” Yuuri threw his arms around my neck. He pulled me to an Earth where fun and joy existed. The only Earth I had ever known was one where skating existed, and only skating. He was asking for my help, unafraid. He was adorable. He was sexy. He was confident. He was fun. He had suddenly opened a window in my life where I thought all doors were closed. He was everything…A memoir of love at first sight.





	

“That Japanese Yuuri is a fucking joke.” 

I suppressed my intense desire to sigh and instead looked over to the blonde teenager sitting on the foot of my hotel room bed. “He made it to the finals.”

“So?” He huffed back.

“So,” I replied calmly, “that means he has talent.” I finished tying my navy blue tie and flipped my collar down. “He clearly didn’t skate his best today. Something must have been on his mind.” 

“Yeah, he was sniveling in the toilet after he lost like a damn baby. He’d better retire after that.” 

I decided not to flatter the young skater with another comment on the matter and set to work buttoning on my waistcoat. I admittedly didn’t watch much of Katsuki’s skating, but what I did see was lovely. His body moved like he was creating music, but his weakness was clearly landing his jumps. He appeared to have enough rotations every time, but he fell in over half of his jumps tonight. It was really a shame… the crowd seemed to love him. 

“Jeez, are you done yet? You’re so damn slow!” 

“You can go downstairs by yourself, Yuri.” I offered with a smile. He simply huffed in return and waited until I put my jacket on. He mumbled an annoyed “finally” and we walked downstairs to the party together with Yakov. 

The old coach was singing both of our praises the whole way downstairs to the banquet room. I felt hollow. I had just won my fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final… I should have felt on top of the world, like my life was complete, like I had the world in the palm of my hand. 

The crowd turned to look as I entered the room and they erupted in applause of congratulations. It was time to put on a show again… It seemed like hours passed while I mingled and made small talk, eating Hors d'oeuvres in lieu of a good meal because the constant stream of congratulations and small talk never end. They asked me about my inspiration, my fitness regimen, what I would do next season… 

Next season…

“Alright, ladies,” A familiar voice came from behind my shoulder and relief washed over me like a warm shower after hours of practice. Christophe Giacometti knew exactly when to step in and save me after all these years of skating in competition together and greeted me with a fluted glass of champagne. “I’m stealing my friend away now. You can have him back later.” 

The two women giggled. “You can’t keep him all to yourself, Chris. We’ll be back,” one of them said in a heavy French accent before walking away with her friend. I waved good bye politely before taking the champagne offered to me with a relieved expression of thanks. 

“How does it feel to be on top of the world again, Viktor Nikiforov?” Chris smiled and tapped his champagne against the edge of mine. “Five time gold medalist and world record holder for personal best score. You’re untouchable.”

That’s exactly what I feared… “And you’re flattering me.” I could tell by the way he raised an eyebrow that he could hear the dryness in my voice. 

“Is it not fun being king anymore?” He smiled kindly, pretty emerald eyes shining.

“I just…” A familiar figure caught my eye and I looked over my shoulder. It was the other Yuuri, with his Italian coach’s arm around his slumped shoulders. I had tried to cheer him up earlier with an offer for a photo together, an encouraging promise that we would meet again as competitors, but…

“Hm?” Chris looked where my gaze had gone as my words drifted off. “Oh, Yuuri Katsuki?” He asked, sipping at his champagne. By the look of the Swiss’ red cheeks it wasn’t his first glass, either. “He beat me once in the junior division. He’s a good skater. Just… off tonight.” 

I watched as the slender Japanese skater broke off from his coach and began to wander awkwardly to the refreshments table. I wished there were something I could say to comfort or encourage him, but my last attempt had failed spectacularly. He looked like the only thing he wanted in the world was to be left alone even though his coach dragged him back into the fray. It was hard not to feel sorry for him as he skipped the table full of spectacular food and plunged right into the champagne. 

I watched as one glass disappeared then two, four, seven… It’s hard to concentrate on anything else when you are truly impressed with someone else’s ability to drink that much and not fall over. Slender fingers not preoccupied with a hijacked bottle of champagne found the baby blue necktie at his throat and he pulled it off, like releasing the collar off of himself and freeing himself into the party. 

I couldn’t concentrate on small talk and mindless chatting anymore. I needed to see how this off-leash, plastered skater would interact with the world around him. I was fascinated. He was certainly wobbling too close to Yuri Plisetsky for the younger boy’s comfort; the blonde grew visibly more irritated with every step closer. 

“Hey, bastard,” he finally snapped at Yuuri, “I told you not to show your face around here again!” 

It truthfully looked like the drunk Japanese skater wasn’t even looking to speak to the blonde teen let alone pick a fight, but he was amused nonetheless to find himself in one. “Well,” he slurred, pulling off his glasses and tucking them into his jacket pocket, “here’s my face, and I’m showin’ it!” 

I was caught by surprise and I snorted with laughter. Teenage gold medalist growled with frustration. Yuuri Katsuki noticed and gave me a blinding smile and I smiled in return. “This party is the most boring one I’ve ever been to!” He told me, his English accented heavily in his inebriated state. He was gaining more and more looks from the other party-goers, which seemed to please him. 

“I know, they usually are.” I replied. 

He tilted the bottle back to his mouth and took another huge gulp then wiped his mouth on his jacket sleeve. “Why isn’t anyone _dancing_?!” He cried out. Yuuri caught the attention of the few pairs slow dancing to the music the bored-looking DJ had chosen for the stuffy event. I chuckled and approached him while others backed away. 

“Would you like to slow dance with me?” I offered to him. He truly had me intrigued, and even more when he blew a raspberry against his hand and gave me a thumbs down. Nobody had _ever_ turned me down for a dance before at one of these banquets, especially in such a fashion. I heard Chris laughing behind me and snapping pictures on his phone. Yuuri noticed and shoved his face in front of it. I was in awe. 

“This is a _party_ and I want to dance like it!” He slurred, but he held his champagne bottle firmly and jumped a perfect grand pas de chat, falling into a drunken yet astoundingly beautiful ballet routine. I was amazed. Yuratchka was more than a little angry. 

“Nobody is going to dance _ballet_ here either, you drunk asshole!” The teenager stomped and loosened his tie. “You and me, dance off. Right now. If I win, you _leave_.” 

Yuuri Katsuki’s eyes sparkled with excitement and determination like he was born to do just that. “Bring it on. I can dance _anything_.” Well, I had to admire his confidence, but I doubted he could dance quite that much. “Interpretive, break-dance, pole dance—“ 

“Pole dance?!” Chris cried behind my right shoulder, and he took off in a sprint for his room upstairs. The blonde skating prodigy pointed to his new rival. 

“Break-dance! You and me!” The Russian Yuri gestured to the DJ who looked like Christmas morning had come early for her. Classical orchestra music was promptly halted and heavy hip hop flooded through the speakers. Several other party goers took out their phones in amusement, ready to capture everything. 

Overconfidently, the younger Yuri went first. He marched into the middle of the circle the small crowd created for him and dropped to do a textbook 6 step move, then he popped up and jumped forward into a handstand. Everyone began to clap as the teenager grinned, already thinking he had this in the bag against Yuuri. The Japanese skater shrugged off his jacket and let it fall to the floor. 

Yuuri sprung into the air and landed on his hands to drop into a tight back spin then blossomed up into a windmill. The crowd erupted in cheers as the dark haired man spun on the floor, legs twisting like a cyclone. My jaw dropped and Yuri’s ego hit the floor. 

Yuri tried his hardest to keep up with the Japanese skater, but it seemed like it was over before it even started. Yuuri sprung up into handstands, twisted windmills on his head, and performed flares with astounding speed flawlessly to the beat of the music. 

His confidence and and attractiveness were so overwhelming, I couldn’t stop smiling and laughing as I cheered them both on, snapping photos and taking videos. Every once in a while Yuuri blessed me with a breathtakingly sexy smile, chocolate eyes meeting mine with no sense of hesitation. 

“DAMN IT!” Yuri finally screamed and threw down his white silk tie in defeat. The Japanese dancer stood and rose his arms for more applause, living for their attention. Oh, how I wished I could see him skate at his best. It would be such heaven… 

“Oh, Yuuri,” Chris chided happily not so far away where, proudly, he had erected his portable fitness pole. “Did I hear correctly that you dance with the pole?” The Swiss man grinned and apparently, yes, Yuuri had indeed danced with the pole. He abandoned his slacks and shoes excitedly to meet the shining silver bar with undeniable familiarity. I collected his abandoned outfit, following with happy amusement. I couldn’t remember the last time I had so much fun.

“What do I get if I win?” Yuuri asked Chris, eyes glazed with alcohol. 

“You will win my undying respect and awe.” Chris replied. 

“Okay!” He agreed excitedly and effortlessly jumped up onto the pole, muscular thighs gripping it as he struck an erotic pose with a confident grin. He twisted around, reaching one arm out for me. I chuckled and winked back at him. He was so playful and flirty, it was impossible not to be taken under his spell. Everyone in the room was in some way or another. 

He single handedly had turned this party upside-down.

I watched as Yuuri danced on the pole, spinning with his strong thighs and arms until Chris stripped down to his underwear and took the pole himself. The Swiss had actively trained in pole dancing and was a force to be reckoned with, especially when he popped open a bottle of champagne and let it slosh over the ground while he spun and stretched over the bar. The rest of the party was split down the middle in screaming with terror or amused joy. 

Soon, Yuuri grew impatient and removed his shirt to toss it at me. I caught it with a grin. He waded through the pool of champagne in his damp tube socks and hopped back up onto the pole just for the sake of dancing with his new friend. I observe with fascination and attraction as they twist together and pose. I snap pictures the whole time, not wanting to forget one moment of the erotic display, especially of the young man I had never taken the time to treasure before. 

Both of them were sopping wet with champagne and Yuuri held himself best he could in the flag pose with Chris draped over him, but with a gasp Yuuri lost his tight grip on the slick pole and both of them landed with a wet smack on the tiled floor. After a shocked look at each other, they dissolved into hysteric laughter. 

“My undying respect and awe are yours, my friend.” Chris reached out to shake Yuuri’s hand. The younger man gave his hand a wet slap and shook it firmly. “Be sure to invite me every time you go out drinking and I’m around.” 

“Only if you bring your pole,” Yuuri grinned in a way that made my heart somersault. Chris laughed and promised the younger man. 

Yuuri wandered over to me and I smiled in return. “Viktor, I’m all wet…” 

“Yes, you are.” All I could do is offer him a handful of starched cloth napkins from the table behind me. He wiped himself down with them, tossed them back on the table, and took his white shirt from my arms to put it back on. He quickly grew annoyed at the tie still dangling from his neck and tugged it off, opting instead to tie it around his head. 

“Do you still want to dance with me?” I asked with a smile. 

“Can we?”

I nodded. “Can you do the flamenco? That’s my favorite.” 

“I can flamenco.” He struck a pose, raising one hand dramatically in the air. He made me laugh again. 

“Good. What do you want if you win?” 

He stared at me blankly before his eyes lit up like the sun. He threw his arms around me and the rest of his clothes I was holding fell in a heap to the ground. “Can I have you Viktor?” He slurred and my eyes widened as I feel the very unmistakeable feeling of his hips grinding against mine. He smelled sweet and felt sticky from the champagne he had showered in. I was paralyzed with shock. Nobody had ever shown me this kind of confidence to my face before in my life…

“Viktor… after this season, my family owns a hot spring resort in Japan, you should come!” He asked exactly what he wanted, and it shook me to my core. No dancing around, no playing, no fear, just _needing_. “S-so if I win this dance off, will you be my coach?” His eyes glittered as he searched my eyes for the answer he needed. His face was red as borscht and patchy. My heart was pounding in my ears. 

“Be my coach, Viktor!!” He threw his arms around my neck. He was warm and soft. He pulled me to an Earth where fun and joy existed. The only Earth I had ever known was one where skating existed, and only skating. I realized that I hadn’t had this much fun in twenty years, and it was all thanks to him. He believed I could do something besides win gold medals myself. He was asking for my help, unafraid. He was adorable. He was sexy. He was confident. He was fun. He had suddenly opened a window in my life where I thought all doors were closed. He was everything… 

I gasped as I looked down at him in my arms, Yuuri Katsuki pressed firmly to my chest. My face flushed with heat as my heart squeezed in a painfully wonderful way. I nearly forgot how to breathe… I hadn’t felt this way since I convinced myself I was in love with my ex, but it was never this intense and absolute. 

My heart fell hard and deep into those espresso brown eyes. I already knew that I couldn’t climb out of them even if I wanted to.

“O-okay, Yuuri. If you win we’ll talk about it, alright?” My heart pounded in my ears so hard I could hear my own pulse. The younger man released me and slid his pants on, and then his shoes with a wet squish.

“Viktor, you can’t be fucking serious,” The blonde teenaged Yuri trembled with humiliation and fury still leftover from the breakdancing contest. 

I ignored him and stepped into the man made circle with Yuuri. He looked at me, eyes burning predatorily as he tossed the messily knotted tie that had been around his head back at me. I chuckled and tucked the unfashionable tie into my pocket. “DJ, a Paso Doble, please.” She smiled and nodded, starting the music. 

By the way Yuuri moved, he’d taken the dominant role immediately. I didn’t mind at all. I was happy to submit to him. I needed his confident young Eros to swallow me whole. I matched his pose and we began the dance of the bull and the toreador.

We matched each other step for step, but I could feel the way he admired the slight style variation of my steps, as I did with his. He danced with a confident, feminine air about him that was absolutely captivating. 

I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. 

I laughed as I saw him move toward me, his hands raised over his head with two fingers outstretched on each hand for his horns. The assertive force of the bull. I pulled off my suit jacket in reply and waived it toward him. The crowd around us cheered and laughed as Yuuri charged for my coat, still moving with the music. As he’d captured my heart, he’d captured his audience. 

Finally, we took each other’s hands and I spun into him, his arms enveloping me. Yuuri’s arms were thin and muscular, I could feel them move with every position change we made together. His hands were careful and tender as I stretched out into elaborate poses, and I felt safe that he would never let me fall as we twisted and turned together in perfect harmony. He was a handful of centimeters shorter than me and much more slender, but he dipped me gently and brought me back up with beautiful strength to dance again. 

Toward the end of our dance we were moving together so effortlessly it was like we were always meant to be this way, like two halves of a whole. We laughed as our faces nearly touched, and my heart swelled with how much I was falling for this near stranger who showed me what fun and true happiness were for the first time in more years than I could count. My life felt wasted on moments without him… And gently, he brought me back up to stand for our final dramatic pose as the music ended, being replaced by loud applause from our peers. 

I had never been so happy… I didn’t want it to end… 

I checked the clock up on the wall above the banquet room doors, not letting his hand go. I still had a couple of hours before my flight left back to St. Petersburg… “Yuuri,” I looked down at his eyes, feeling reckless. 

He looked back up at me, face glistening with sweat. “Yeah?” 

“Would you… Want to come upstairs with me?” 

Everything from then until we tumbled into the elevator together, lips desperately locked together, was a blur. I don’t remember who started kissing who first, but it didn’t matter. It still doesn’t. What mattered was that it was undeniably, breathtakingly happening. As soon as the elevator doors closed on us Yuuri pushed his knee between my thighs and ground up against my crotch, sending a thunderstorm though my body. I moaned for him and we hadn’t even been properly introduced. 

The life I had been taught to live was crumbling under Yuuri Katsuki’s touch, and I loved it. I pushed my knee between his and returned the favor, instantly feeling him begin to rut up against me. “H-holy shit…” I gasped when the heated kiss finally stole my breath away. I had to brace myself on the support bars on the elevator’s perimeter to have any hope of staying upright during the fateful encounter. 

“Y-Yuuri…” I moan, and I hear him echo my name against my jaw as we ground down on each other’s legs, a much more desperate choreography than the one we just danced, but no less beautiful. “O-oh God, where have y-you been all m-my life…?” I panted, spreading my legs more so his knee could reach my whole length. 

“W-will you come to Japan?” He moaned in my ear, his hips moving to some kind of desperate tempo in his mind. “B-be my coach, Viktor. I want to learn to move like you do…” His breath smelled deeply like alcohol, his skin like sweat. 

“Yuuri, yes… I will… Fuck! Yes…!” I gasped his name, praying at the same time that nobody would enter the elevator, and somebody would so they could see me at the happiest and most vulnerable I had ever been. In that moment I had decided to throw the flawless career I had built for myself away. I had to stay with him. It was the stupidest, most brash decision of my life, but I needed to stay by his side. He had me completely, wholly, helplessly… 

I threw my head back and moaned as I achieved orgasm, humping his leg like an animal. My underwear filled with the familiar heat of my seed and my legs went weak, but I stayed steady for him as he rutted desperately against my leg, moaning my name like a prayer. As he finally reached his climax, I watched his face contort into the most gorgeous vision of beauty I had ever witnessed. His eyes squeezed shut, eyelashes impossibly long and black, his lips were swollen and wet from our kissing… 

He was the inspiration I had been missing all this time… 

He slumped into my arms and by some miracle I was able to hold him up before he collapsed on the ground. “I’ve got you…” I murmured in his ear. He hummed contently against my shoulder in reply. “I’ll be your coach… I’ll take care of you, Yuuri…” 

“Viktor…” He looked up at me, smiling. His face was flushed from his orgasm. 

Suddenly, my heart stopped as the elevator jolted and started moving upwards. Yuuri detached himself from me and I took my coat off to hold in front of the crotch of my wet slacks. My heart pounded nervously in my throat as the elevator stopped on its destination floor and the doors opened. 

“There you are, Vitya. We need to get to the airport. Get changed and packed.” Yakov said. Really, he was the last person I wanted to see 60 seconds after an orgasm, but I nodded and both me and Yuuri exited the elevator. I grabbed the ballpoint pen from Yakov’s breast pocket and took Yuuri’s hand. 

“I had a wonderful time tonight…” I told him, looking into his chestnut eyes. I wrote my cell number on his wrist. “Please call me… We’ll talk.” Yuuri looked at the digits as if they were more precious than coordinates to the lost city of Atlantis. 

I leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. _“Dasvidanya…”_

And then, he was gone from me. Days passed and became weeks, but the phone call never came as I worked to prepare for the Worlds. Four long months went by and there wasn’t a day that I didn’t think about Yuuri Katsuki. When I searched for him online all I found were articles speculating about his retirement. 

I couldn’t help but wonder in my aching chest if that beautiful evening to me was nothing more than his fun; if he had simply seduced me with his beautiful body and irresistible charm and moved on with his life… I wrote a short program with the emotions manifesting in me about a playboy seducing his lover and casting them aside. My foolish heart refused to believe it, though, and ached for him. 

I dedicated my free program to him in my mind and spirit as I performed it in Tokyo at the World Championships. I hoped that he was watching out there somewhere and knew that I was skating for him, the young man who showed me light and laughter for the first time since my childhood… If he ignored my reaching out for him in this final and passionate way, I would let him go, keeping the beautiful memory deep in my soul as a time where I was truly happy. Damn my foolish, romantic, delicate heart… 

But then, he called out to me…

I watched on the internet along with millions of others as Yuuri Katsuki danced my free program the morning after I had taken gold. He was flawless in his youth and naivety, skating my routine in the way I had only dreamed I could… 

A quick google of “Ice Castle Hasetsu” from the video placed him in Hasetsu, Kyushu, Japan. Another quick search of “Hasetsu, Kyushu, Katsuki” and I found the hot springs resort that he had drunkenly told me about that fateful night I couldn’t let go of. I packed a bag, hired a crew of movers to pack up the rest of my bedroom and essentials, and flew back to Japan with Makkachin to find the man who stole my bleeding, foolish heart. Yakov tried to beg me to stay, telling me not to chase after a boy I had one encounter with and to not throw my future away.

That’s just it… I hated the way my future looked so dark and lonely. I needed to control my own fate.

Snow and cold followed me from western Russia to southern Japan. 

The short Japanese woman who greeted me as I entered the charming bath house knew _exactly_ who I was and told me in broken English that Yuuri was still asleep, but that I should relax and have a bath on this cold day. She also apologized for the snow, and said how uncharacteristic this weather was in Kyushu in April. I smiled and told her I don’t mind, I’m used to snow. She had bright eyes just like Yuuri’s. She had to have been his mother. 

I took her up on her kind offer to relax in the hot spring, and she told me she would look after Makkachin. They had lost their family dog in December, she confided, and suddenly it made sense why Yuuri was skating like he did in the Grand Prix finals. My heart broke for him. 

I sunk into the hot spring with a sigh, finally allowing myself a moment of relaxation from the World Championships less than 24 hours ago. I looked up into the sky with a sigh, watching as snowflakes cascaded down from above. Was this a good idea, throwing everything I had worked for away on this whim? I was infatuated with the young man, but was it too much that I had chased him to his hometown with no warning? 

Well… yes, it was over the top when I thought of it that way. But he had been so fun and spontaneous that night… I wanted to show him that I could be just as much for him too, though I don’t think I have ever fit either of those definitions before. I had to have made the right choice… his copying my Stay Close to Me program was him calling out to me, begging me to become his coach, and that he needed me too… 

Frantic, heavy footsteps approaching broke the tranquility of the moment and I look toward the door to the bath as it flew open. 

There he was… after all this time. Yes, I told myself as I saw his beauty again, heart leaping with joy, this was the right choice. 

“V-Viktor…” Yuuri choked out in shock. “W-what are you doing here?” 

I stood out of the naturally warm water confidently, unafraid in his presence. I had missed him so… I outstretched my arm to him like he had done to me at the banquet so many times. “Yuuri, from today on, I’m your coach. I’ll help you win gold at the Grand Prix final.” I winked at him flirtatiously. We no longer had to look for each other. Finally, we were together. This would all be worth it. The feeling in my heart was undeniable, especially after seeing him again. 

His eyes widened like a cornered rabbit and he screamed into the frigid winter morning. “WHAT?!”

Well, that reaction had been a little unexpected, but I tried to brush it off. His generous family fed my exhausted body and I let myself sleep nearly all day, finally comforted in the fact that I was here with him and moving on with my life. I found happiness in Yuuri Katsuki, and I would stay here with it. 

And here I am now.

The sun has gone down and people are departing to go to sleep themselves leaving Yuuri and myself alone to move my belongings into my new room. “I love the classic Japanese feel,” I tell him with a smile. I’m purposefully letting him move more boxes into my room than I have. Though he is still incredibly attractive, if he wants to figure skate this season he needs to be in top physical shape and lean. My first act of tough love as a coach… that and banning him from eating the delicious, godly Katsudon. 

“Y-yeah this bath house has been in my family for generations. We’ve never really remodeled because people like the traditional look.” Yuuri responds after setting down the last box. I notice he’s blushing and stuttering. 

“You look anxious…” I glance to him and offer him a wink. Maybe his heart was racing just like mine was at the thought of finally being alone together after all this time and distance. I kneel on the tatami close to him. His eyes widen under his glasses.

“Yuuri… tell me everything about you.” I murmur to him and reach up to touch his chin, lifting his eyes to meet mine. “What kind of rink do you skate at? What’s in Hasetsu? What do you like to do besides skate?” I reach down to hold his hand, thirsting for his touch and warmth. “Is there a someone you like…?” His face is turning redder by the moment as I lean closer. “Before we start training I think we should build some trust between us and in our relationship…”

He pushes back from me nervously, brow covered in sweat. My stomach lurches nervously. “What? W-why are you running away?” After all we shared, the beautiful evening in Sochi, why was he running away..?

“N-no reason… I just think that I should get ready for bed. Y-you know, for practice tomorrow.” Yuuri stutters and quickly stands to leave. “G-goodnight,” he says as he disappears down the short hallway. 

Everything feels strange and my confidence is weakened by his unusual reaction. We danced, we touched, we kissed, we shared in a passionate moment I had only shared with a couple other people in my 27 years. I didn’t take it lightly at all… and I had given it to him so willingly. 

“Come on, Makkachin,” I pat his head and grab my bedding. I turn left out of my bedroom to the door right next to mine. I take a deep breath and knock.

“Yuuri, let’s sleep together!” I hear a yelp from the other side of the door. I had indeed found the younger skater. “As your coach, I still want to learn so much about you!” 

I knock again, hearing a yelled “No!!” from the other side. I feel sick at his reaction to my suggestion. 

“Yuuri! Come on, I want to talk to you.” I knock, and this time I am greeted by nothing but silence. “…Yuuri?” Makkachin looks up as I drop my head in disappointment, heart aching as it cracks. He licks my hand for comfort. “Let’s go to sleep, okay…?” I tell the dog and scratch his ear, and he leads the way back to our room, too far away from Yuuri Katsuki’s side. 

I was a fool after all, a hopeless romantic, a stupid man who had fallen too hard and too fast for a perfect stranger… I feel even more like an idiot as tears build in my eyes while I lay my bedding out on the tatami. Makkachin notices and whines, ready to be held as I fall onto the cot heavily in tears. 

“H-he’s acting like i-it didn’t even happen… l-like he wants to f-forget…” He seduced me and tossed me aside… I sob into Makkachin’s coiled fur. I’ve never felt heartbreak like this before… not when I’ve broken up with exes, not when I’ve missed winning gold or broken my wrist, not when I missed the podium at a competition for avoidable mistakes. 

I cry and Makkachin comforts me with gentle licks to my cheeks, wiping away the tears. This was true heartbreak, a pain I had never known until I met Yuuri, just as I had never truly known true joy… I love him, I admit to myself after all this time. I love him because of the way he makes me _feel_. Positive or negative, I would take it all. These emotions make me feel alive and its all because of him.

If heartbreak was the emotion I had to feel by his side now, I would take it. At least I was feeling. At least I was by his side… and even though he is pretending that night didn’t happen, I wouldn’t forget, and I would keep my promise. 

I will stand by his side and help him achieve everything he dreams with all I have learned in my life in competitive figure skating. I will gift my Eros short program inspired by him to him, and with it he will win the gold at the Grand Prix final. Makkachin’s warm fur and careful breathing calm me until I stop crying and I close my eyes. “I’ll do everything I can to help you win gold, Yuuri…” I murmur and close my eyes. 

I swear I’ll work hard to be the best coach I can be, Yuuri. That’s how I’ll show my love to you…

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please tell me what you thought. I'm having such an amazingly fun time writing again!


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